The bickering and general unrest has moved to an unbearable level. I'm tired and grouchy all the time, I feel like I have to do it ALL. The kids are spoiled and expect the world delivered to them. Example- Parker-Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, MOM (from the couch in the family room) I finally come from the laundry room, bedroom, garage, etc. What P? Can you get me the remote? (its laying 2-3 feet from him)
Kennedy-Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, MOM, MOM, MOM. Yes Kennedy, why didn't you answer me? I bit my tongue and you don't even care!
So after a particularly had week, the first week of school and the need for some structure in our lives we sat down at the kitchen table and do a round robin of complaints. That very day Kennedy had pulled the heads off all of Debbie's fake flowers, with Haven's help of course.
The conversation goes like this, its time to air your grievances each of you will have a chance to put something on the list. One at a time. Parker-whats greebince? a problem P something you're not happy with. Oh, ok. Kennedy's mind is running at 100 miles an hour, she can't wait to start her list.
August 18
JD-Not Listening
Me-Lack of Respect of people and property
P-Messing with my stuff
K-Parker hogs the TV with his wii
JD-Not listening
Me-not following instructions
P-Sissy is mean to me
K-I don't like it when you go in the garage and smoke
JD-Not Listening
Me-Spoiled, Ungrateful
P-The Dogs jump on me
K-I don't want you to close the door to your room
JD-Lack of Responsibility
Me-Lack of Privacy
K-I don't know what you want me to do?!!!
P-The Dogs get in the way of my game
JD-Not Listening
Me-Need a schedule and list of consequences and responsibility
P-The house is too cold, turn off the fans
K-Closing the door, locking us out
JD-the use of the phrase "hold on" stalling
Me-Kids need chores
P-More food, I'm hungry
K-Family menu, so we'll all eat
JD-Rewards should equal Actions
Me-Respect of personal space/time
P-I'm hungry
K-I don't want you to have personal time, can't we sit on the other side of the door?
JD-Whining
Me-Think for yourself, make good choices
K-I want Dad to quit cussing at me
P-still hungry
JD-Done
Me-Need to ask for permission to use Laptop/Ipad
Me-Repeated yelling from across the house
Summary:
Jaben wants everyone to do what he says the first time he says it, wishes we were all mute and leave his stuff alone. Would also like more time alone with me. (yay)
I want everyone to take care of their own stuff and quit screaming for me every time they have to think for themselves. A little appreciation would be nice too, but I'll work on that at the next meeting
Kennedy wants everyone to sit down and do what she wants when she wants them to do it, doesn't understand why she should ever be excluded from any conversation or event and sees no reason to change anything
Parker wants the dogs to stop bothering him, more food and a warmer climate.
Yep, another day at the ranch
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Family Meeting
So, in the ongoing saga in parenting we sent the kids to bed last night only to have ww3 break out. I drag myself out of the living room to find Parker happy in his bed, Sis sobbing in her bed and Jaben smoldering in our bed. After 45 minutes of hysterics Kennedy finally fell asleep. Of course I woke up sandwiched between both of them, so we may have won the initial battle but the war is far from over.
The morning started off good enough and quickly spiraled out of control with the two of them kicking and hitting each other as the bus pulled up.
After the disaster that has been our life we called a family meeting, going around the table taking turns on the things that need to change. The thought is that JD and I will sit down and create a game plan, schedule and chore list for the kids.
Parker's gripes-Sis is mean, the dogs jump on him, he's cold and he doesn't get enough to eat.
Kennedy-stop cussing at her, hitting her, tearing her things up, closing our door, and smoking.
Seriously, if anyone reads this their going to think the little twits are abused. Jaben and I had a shared list of ungrateful (immediately followed by the whine of "I'm Grateful!) lack of privacy, lack of responsibility, lack of respect, etc. etc.
We then broke for dinner which was actually somewhat uneventful....until....
Kennedy began freaking out because even though she'd be good for 4 consecutive minutes she still couldn't go outside.
Parker comes wandering out of the bathroom with his pants around his knees because he's pooped his pants.
Jaben in full father mode looks at him once and says
You shit yourself? Really? Go change your clothes
What the hell is wrong with you? Idiots
Is it any wonder I'm on meds? I mean really?
Between the constant Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom. Its constant. I can't have a single thought without the world needing to talk to me about it. I'm exhausted from the constant discussion. If it was quiet I'd probably go deaf. I can't remember the last time I was able to start and finish anything without having to cater to someone else.
I love my kids, I love my life, but I'm worn out. I'm tired of being in charge of everything and being the encyclopedia for the Davis family. I have an entire reference manual in my head. Need to know how much school lunch is, I've got it. Doctors names and phone numbers, yep that's me. Birthdays for EVERYONE, planner, scheduler, agenda's, homework, cook, cleaning crew, laundry, vet, nurse, tutor, transportation analyst, coordinator of all things. My brain is full before I even get up in the morning.
But tomorrow is Friday. Another weekend full of unhappy people at my house. At least I'll get to sleep in....
The morning started off good enough and quickly spiraled out of control with the two of them kicking and hitting each other as the bus pulled up.
After the disaster that has been our life we called a family meeting, going around the table taking turns on the things that need to change. The thought is that JD and I will sit down and create a game plan, schedule and chore list for the kids.
Parker's gripes-Sis is mean, the dogs jump on him, he's cold and he doesn't get enough to eat.
Kennedy-stop cussing at her, hitting her, tearing her things up, closing our door, and smoking.
Seriously, if anyone reads this their going to think the little twits are abused. Jaben and I had a shared list of ungrateful (immediately followed by the whine of "I'm Grateful!) lack of privacy, lack of responsibility, lack of respect, etc. etc.
We then broke for dinner which was actually somewhat uneventful....until....
Kennedy began freaking out because even though she'd be good for 4 consecutive minutes she still couldn't go outside.
Parker comes wandering out of the bathroom with his pants around his knees because he's pooped his pants.
Jaben in full father mode looks at him once and says
You shit yourself? Really? Go change your clothes
What the hell is wrong with you? Idiots
Is it any wonder I'm on meds? I mean really?
Between the constant Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom. Its constant. I can't have a single thought without the world needing to talk to me about it. I'm exhausted from the constant discussion. If it was quiet I'd probably go deaf. I can't remember the last time I was able to start and finish anything without having to cater to someone else.
I love my kids, I love my life, but I'm worn out. I'm tired of being in charge of everything and being the encyclopedia for the Davis family. I have an entire reference manual in my head. Need to know how much school lunch is, I've got it. Doctors names and phone numbers, yep that's me. Birthdays for EVERYONE, planner, scheduler, agenda's, homework, cook, cleaning crew, laundry, vet, nurse, tutor, transportation analyst, coordinator of all things. My brain is full before I even get up in the morning.
But tomorrow is Friday. Another weekend full of unhappy people at my house. At least I'll get to sleep in....
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Izzy's Death
In an attempt to get Kennedy to actually sleep in her bed or even in her room we offered to buy her a pet if she'd stay out of our bed. After a week we headed to the pet store, lucky for me we talked her out of the lizards and other cold blooded animals and toward a nice hamster/ Guinea pig type creature. With the store associates help we decided on rats. Seems they are not only smarter and much more durable (think squeezing dropping, etc) they were also a mere $10 a piece. We took one home then decided that one, Snickers, would be lonely. So back to the pet store we go the next day and chose Izzy, an albino rat, to keep Snickers company. That was about 3 years ago. Since they came home Kennedy has missed very few nights in my bed. Once we finally found a cage they couldn't eat through they became a quiet and somewhat stinky part of our lives. The cleaning and care of the rats and their cage of course fell under my jurisdiction so I've been trying to find a nice home for them. No luck.
Fast forward to Wednesday August 10 2011.
Jaben comes in the kitchen, "Babe, Izzy's dead"
Me-you sure?
JD-yep, she's flopped out on the shelf
Me- what happened?
JD-I don't know she wouldn't answer me when I asked.
Me- smart ass
JD- should we call Sis in and tell her?
Me- after dinner
At dinner- Sis of course is rushing to swallow and run so she doesn't miss anything going on in the neighborhood. We tried to be gentle about telling her, the death of your first pet can be tough. But true to her heritage she wouldn't shut up long enough to be sensitive so Jaben blurted it out.
She was shocked, we discussed the usual-how, when, were we sure. Again sensitivity not being Jaben's strong suit, he did the best he could. She wanted to bury her and Jaben had already found a satin box just perfect for the occasion. There was some concern over where the burial could take place since our dogs are known to be inquisitive, we wouldn't want to come home and find a fresh corpse in the drive.
Jaben found a spot in the front yard outside of the dogs invisible fence providing a little sanctity for the grave.
I started texting the family to keep them apprised of the situation.
The following is the exchange:
8:08 Its with a sad heart that I share the news of Izzy the Rat's passing to the big cheese in the sky.
8:09 We're preparing for the service. Jaben is thrilled to be digging a hole and has announced that Cassie must go on a diet before she bites it. *Mr Sensitivity then asks me to check with the vet on the cost of cremation for Cassie, she's getting pretty old*
8:12 Kennedy is hanging in there. She's preparing for the service, changing in to a black dress. Not sure how long the mourning will last.
*The neighborhood kids all begin gathering, the girls bringing out their best black dresses.
Jaben and I are standing in the garage and out comes Kennedy with Izzy in the box stuffed with a pillow and notes from the kids. Kennedy's note asks Izzy to say hi to GG for her. I'm thinking that my grandmother, God rest her soul, hated animals and if she saw a rat in heaven make that a talking rat she'd probably think she'd landed in her own version of hell.
Anyway when Jaben asked her what she was doing, the box top had been removed. She then announced with an eye roll that it was an open casket.*
8:13 She just announced its going to be an open casket. I guess we're having a viewing
*All the kids cluster around saying nice things about Izzy. Jaben and I were laughing so hard in the garage I had tears rolling. Sis was master of ceremonies and trying to decide the next steps in the funeral process.*
8:16 Lmao. I'm laughing so hard I have tears rolling down my face. Luckily she thinks I'm distraught. Seriously were having services.
8:18 Music choices are discussed. Amazing Grace is a favorite.
8:22 OMG we just sang Amazing Grace.
Good turnout. Nine kids and the dogs howled all the way through it.
Kennedy refuses to let anyone else fill in the grave. She does it herself while Neko brings flowers from the surrounding yards to decorate her grave. Finally, a garden rock is placed as a temporary headstone.
Wow, I say a prayer for my heart broken daughter and a silent apology to God for singing Amazing Grace over the burial site of our pet rat. Mostly though I'm so thankful that God has a sense of humor.
JD-
Fast forward to Wednesday August 10 2011.
Jaben comes in the kitchen, "Babe, Izzy's dead"
Me-you sure?
JD-yep, she's flopped out on the shelf
Me- what happened?
JD-I don't know she wouldn't answer me when I asked.
Me- smart ass
JD- should we call Sis in and tell her?
Me- after dinner
At dinner- Sis of course is rushing to swallow and run so she doesn't miss anything going on in the neighborhood. We tried to be gentle about telling her, the death of your first pet can be tough. But true to her heritage she wouldn't shut up long enough to be sensitive so Jaben blurted it out.
She was shocked, we discussed the usual-how, when, were we sure. Again sensitivity not being Jaben's strong suit, he did the best he could. She wanted to bury her and Jaben had already found a satin box just perfect for the occasion. There was some concern over where the burial could take place since our dogs are known to be inquisitive, we wouldn't want to come home and find a fresh corpse in the drive.
Jaben found a spot in the front yard outside of the dogs invisible fence providing a little sanctity for the grave.
I started texting the family to keep them apprised of the situation.
The following is the exchange:
8:08 Its with a sad heart that I share the news of Izzy the Rat's passing to the big cheese in the sky.
8:09 We're preparing for the service. Jaben is thrilled to be digging a hole and has announced that Cassie must go on a diet before she bites it. *Mr Sensitivity then asks me to check with the vet on the cost of cremation for Cassie, she's getting pretty old*
8:12 Kennedy is hanging in there. She's preparing for the service, changing in to a black dress. Not sure how long the mourning will last.
*The neighborhood kids all begin gathering, the girls bringing out their best black dresses.
Jaben and I are standing in the garage and out comes Kennedy with Izzy in the box stuffed with a pillow and notes from the kids. Kennedy's note asks Izzy to say hi to GG for her. I'm thinking that my grandmother, God rest her soul, hated animals and if she saw a rat in heaven make that a talking rat she'd probably think she'd landed in her own version of hell.
Anyway when Jaben asked her what she was doing, the box top had been removed. She then announced with an eye roll that it was an open casket.*
8:13 She just announced its going to be an open casket. I guess we're having a viewing
*All the kids cluster around saying nice things about Izzy. Jaben and I were laughing so hard in the garage I had tears rolling. Sis was master of ceremonies and trying to decide the next steps in the funeral process.*
8:16 Lmao. I'm laughing so hard I have tears rolling down my face. Luckily she thinks I'm distraught. Seriously were having services.
8:18 Music choices are discussed. Amazing Grace is a favorite.
8:22 OMG we just sang Amazing Grace.
Good turnout. Nine kids and the dogs howled all the way through it.
Kennedy refuses to let anyone else fill in the grave. She does it herself while Neko brings flowers from the surrounding yards to decorate her grave. Finally, a garden rock is placed as a temporary headstone.
Wow, I say a prayer for my heart broken daughter and a silent apology to God for singing Amazing Grace over the burial site of our pet rat. Mostly though I'm so thankful that God has a sense of humor.
JD-
1st day back
Thank you God we made it through the first day back! Both kids jumped othe bus with little or no fanfare and absolutely no fits. I was so happy you'd thought I'd won the flipping lottery. I ,of ourselves didn't make it the entire day without a call from the nurse, had to go pick up Sis' inhaler and take it to her. It's like freaking fort Knox trying to get medication in the school system. He'll when we were in school we carried lighters, cough medicine, throat lozenges Tylenol, Midol, and anything else we thought we might need. You didn't go to the nurse unless you were puking or needed a nap. Now you need signed documentation to take tylenol. I asked if the kids could keep a little first aid kit in their desk with bandaids, and she advised against it. Really? Because I'm pretty sure neither of m kids have decided to become chemists and snort bandaids yet.
Once the kids got home Kennedy told me about the annoying kids on the bus and Parker's only complaint is that they don't get enough to eat or drink. This coming from the kid that eats all day. Poor kid.
Once the kids got home Kennedy told me about the annoying kids on the bus and Parker's only complaint is that they don't get enough to eat or drink. This coming from the kid that eats all day. Poor kid.
Monday, August 15, 2011
The day before school....
Ok, so I'm a little paranoid. Sis had such a hard time going last year and it was absolutely heart wrenching for both of us. I've emailed her teacher, given her a pep talk and packed a suprise in her pencil box thingy. Of course the kids were sent to bed an hour ago and I can still hear them in there talking. URGH
We did go and see the Smurf's today and the movie while terribly expensive was pretty good. Then we had the 1st grade open house so Parker could find his room. Once we got home I got to fill out the oodles of paperwork they send home (why is it not online?) and write out 6 checks for various necessary items. Again, why couldn't it be all one check? I have no idea how people with more than 2 kids in school make it. I'm looking forward to some down time tomorrow to update this blog with the latest and greatest on the kids before I forget the comments. We'll see how that works out!
We did go and see the Smurf's today and the movie while terribly expensive was pretty good. Then we had the 1st grade open house so Parker could find his room. Once we got home I got to fill out the oodles of paperwork they send home (why is it not online?) and write out 6 checks for various necessary items. Again, why couldn't it be all one check? I have no idea how people with more than 2 kids in school make it. I'm looking forward to some down time tomorrow to update this blog with the latest and greatest on the kids before I forget the comments. We'll see how that works out!
Trial Run
This may be a total exercise in futility. How many journals, logs, diaries have I started over the last 35 years? I'm hopeful that since I can type faster than I can write I will be better at keeping this current. There are so many things that happen on a daily basis that I want to be able to share and remember later. So much that I can't possibly keep them straight in my head or hope to pass them on later.
If all goes well I can look back to the entries and be the coolest old broad out there with unlimited memory, wowing my friends and grand kids. If not my kids and loved ones will have a window into my perspective on how things went down at the Davis Ranch:)
So lets see how this goes!
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